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Event Spotlight: MILF! Camp

March 22, 2017

Self-proclaimed ‘yummy mummies’, Vivian and Susan are serious about showing people the real lives of MILF’s. Think being a MILF is all about babies, binkies and brunch? Think again! We caught up with Vivian and Susan to talk MILF Camp!

Hi Vivian and Susan! Firstly, what inspired you to create MILF Camp?

SUSAN: Great question Gwenafer.

VIVIAN: See, a while ago I was on my husband Graham’s computer and I “accidentally” came across his search history after “accidentally” trying to find it. I saw that he had searched for the term “MILF.”

SUSAN: Although we found all the videos we came across…quirky.

VIVIAN: We just felt that the mothers didn’t seem to represent a large proportion of every day mums.

SUSAN: So we decided to become the founding mothers of the “MILF Revolution”

VIVIAN: Unfortunately “MILF Revolution” was already taken, so we called it “MILF Camp”.

What makes a MILF? Can anyone aspire to be a MILF?

VIVIAN: So glad you asked that question Barbra.

SUSAN: Originally we thought that you could only become a MILF if, like the mothers in the aforementioned adult documentaries we watched on RED Tube, you were a saucy mumma with tight abs, big tits and an ass that won’t quit.

VIVIAN: But after trying to achieve these expectations, we realised this isn’t what we really wanted.

SUSAN: We wanted to create a movement of self-love, support, and being true to who you are.

VIVIAN: And in that sense, anyone can be a MILF.

SUSAN: Think of MILFs as the underwire bra of society.

VIVIAN: Strong and supportive.

What does the MILF workout include?

SUSAN: Great question Kevin.

VIVIAN: Our famous 5 minute MILF Camp Booty Camp entails:

SUSAN: One minute of silent weeping in child’s pose.

VIVAN: One minute of screaming Squats

SUSAN: One minute of Tantrum Triceps Dips (if tantrum requires, feel free to throw yourself on the floor for this one)

VIVIAN: One minute of deliriously tired ROFLing (a whole body workout)

SUSAN: And that’s it!

VIVIAN: Because no real MILF has anymore than 4 spare minutes a day. *sobs silently*

SUSAN: And remember, your body is a temple so don’t forget to present it with delicious offerings to appease the goddess within. 

Do you think women face too much pressure to be MILFS?

VIVIAN: Silly question Melanie.

SUSAN: Yes.

VIVIAN:….that’s why we’re here.

SUSAN: *whispering* To start a revolution.

If you were an item on the brunch menu, what would you be?

SUSAN: Great question Jason.

VIVIAN: I would be a protein-blueberry-buckwheat-pancake with a grass wheat shot on the side and a napkin folded into a swan.

SUSAN: I would be a day old granola…fresh enough to eat but you’d be able to get a discount.

VIVIAN: Oh yes…you can always find Susy with one nostril to the ground hunting for a discount.

SUSAN: I saved almost $500 last year.

Finally, what YAH17 events are you most looking forward to?

VIVIAN: Great question Noah.

SUSAN: Obviously us, as I was under the impression there would be full length mirrors during our show…

VIVIAN: …but failing that I guess we are most looking forward to Aerobicide: Feel Better.

 

MILF Camp is a free event, taking place in The Festival Hub (46 Northbourne Avenue, Civic) on Wednesday 5 April, 8 – 9pm